I recently came across the following very interesting comment. I can say for a fact that he didn’t have homesteading in mind when he said it, but homesteading is certainly teaching me some of the truth of his sentiment.
[He] always felt that the secrets of Nature are always shrouded in mystery. Birth is not for science according to him. Birth is a mystery. And the moment that mystery is opened and made a subject of science, in a very certain sense, when a mystery is exploded, it is made profane, it is without dignity, it becomes something as [He] used to say, ‘a market topic’ for conversation – a topic reduced to the roads, to the streets for discussion, for conversation, and for condemnation.
He, the Hookah and I p. 260
With us humans, you generally know when the ladies are pregnant and it has definitely become something profane these days. Some feel the sacredness at the moment of birth itself but, other than that, pregnancy and birth are definitely ‘a market topic’ for conversation and there is all sorts of intrusion all along the way.
Now you take goats - you cannot tell when goats are pregnant no matter how expert you are. You basically have to know when they have been bred and then go from there with your planning and expectations. Goats keep their pregnancies to themselves.
It turns out, to my surprise, that cows can do this too. Our first cow, the inestimable red and white Dutch Belted Pezra, was a perfect example. We bought her from friends (husband was a rancher from way back) with whom she had had a calf and who were milking her for some time. They got tired of having to be home for milking time twice a day and sold her to us, whereupon we milked her for quite a long time. Suddenly in the middle of that summer, she basically went dry. No one knew why. Crazy red headed behavior maybe? A couple of months later, her udder suddenly ballooned up in size. Yikes. The rancher-from-way-back previous owner came and looked at her. The dairy managers from whom the rancher had bought her came over and looked at her. They all shook their heads and scratched their chins but had no idea what was going on. We then attempted to treat her for mastitis in a dry cow which is bad news. Meanwhile, being desperate for more milk and having fallen in love with cows. we went and bought Pezra’s older sister who was bred and due to calve three weeks hence.
We made the preparations for two cows. We brought Phoebe, the older sister, over and the two cows got reacquainted and settled in. We settled in too to wait for Phoebe to calve and get milk for the family once again. On a memorable Saturday morning about two weeks before Phoebe was due, my husband went out to the ladies their morning hay. He came tearing back into the house shouting that a calf’s leg was sticking out of the back of Pezra. Yup. She was calving. Yup. She had been pregnant all that time and none of the experts involved had any idea even though they had been examining her abdomen and udder closely. (I, on the other hand, had often gazed at her going into the shed to be milked in previous months and had thought, “Wouldn’t it be a kicker if she turned out to be pregnant?” I guess ‘market conversations’ and intuition are two very different things!)
So we helped Pezra birth her breech calf and then two weeks later Phoebe calved pretty much on her own at which point we drowned in about 8 gallons a day of unplanned for milk. Let’s just say that I made a LOT of cheese and fast forward to the present.
Phoebe is a practically perfect cow in all ways except that she has “silent heats.” You can’t tell when she is in heat so it is tough to get her bred. Our AI (artificial insemination) guy bred her three times and thought that finally with the third attempt that it took. We thought so too.
We waited patiently through gestation. We recently found a due date calculator for cows and ascertained that her due date was January 23. About a week before that, her heifer went into heat (now this gal has nothing silent about her heats - she turns this place upside down sometimes) and Phoebe seemed to respond. I mean she responded more than we have ever seen her do. And we panicked. What? Is Phoebe not pregnant after all? Is she in HEAT? Now that we are so close to the due date will there be no calf and no milk? You see, it just isn’t perfectly obvious whether or not she is pregnant. It seems incredible really because pregnancy is such a huge thing for us but there you have it. For cows (as well as goats and perhaps all other mammals for all I know), pregnancy is still sacred in some mysterious, natural, inscrutable way. If you are just a friendly kind of human companion to the cow (as opposed to a super duper professional/industrial human to the cow), you can easily have no idea about something as essential and basic as pregnancy in them.
The next day, Phoebe suddenly acted very maternal with her now 2 year old heifer. It would paint a more accurate picture to say that she was suddenly psychotically maternal. Chased our dog all over the pasture. Made that sound that cows only make to their young. Flipped out when she didn’t know exactly where her heifer was at all times. Milking time was … well, wow. Wild. We have only seen her that way once (as she is otherwise the most serene and placid cow you could ever meet) and that was when she had her heifer two years ago. She was also overdue for that heifer so … maybe there was hope. Maybe she really was pregnant after all? What a roller coaster. What crazy, crazy cow times. And then a couple of days later that behavior vanished and Phoebe was back to her old serene self and has remained so ever since.
So here we are on February 3rd. She is 11 days past her due date - if in fact she is pregnant at all. You see, we aren’t just waiting for her to calve. We are waiting to find out if she is pregnant! That is a lot of waiting to be doing all at once, I can tell you.
I think this is why people can be so quick to move what is naturally sacred and mysterious over to the profane, measure it, talk about it, control it category of things. Waiting is not easy. Accepting natural consequences and phenomena isn’t easy. Wondering how you are going to feed your children if the cow isn’t going to calve isn’t easy. In fact uncertainty in a faithless, ritual-less, community-starved, unnatural world is not only not easy, it is really, really hard.
And that is where we are. We are waiting. We are waiting on the mystery whichever way it goes. And how we will move forward after that particular mystery resolves itself is also a mystery in more ways than I can even count or would want to mention.
There are mysteries everywhere in our lives together here when I stop to think about it and such has been the case for a long, long time. I have tended to experience them as excruciating uncertainties but I think now as I am writing this that I should redefine these uncertainties for what they objectively, naturally, spiritually are -mysteries.
Furthermore, instead of thinking of the mystery of our lives as nothing but conundrums both exhausting and bewildering, I think I must now choose to think of them devotedly as sacred. What will emerge? Only He knows.
Meanwhile, I am keeping my eye on Phoebe.
From the beautiful mountains of southwest Virginia,
Leslie