I recently have had an enlightening experience along my “homeschooling mother of many” journey. Has this ever happened to you? You have studied the maps and carefully chosen a route. You are following along your route faithfully. There are problems that come up as you proceed but lots of signposts that insist that this is the right path are also there so you continue to plod along. Then suddenly one day you find your feet taking you onto what appears to be a byway. Huh? You discover that you are walking along this unconsidered route with such gusto that you continue along it just to see what happens. Indeed, you are almost helpless to do otherwise. After some time, you gradually discover that this new way was apparently intended. It is apparently the way you are supposed to go. All kinds of positive developments appear along this new path you never could have anticipated. You find yourself deeply grateful for the nearly inaudible whisper that redirected your steps and silently vow to listen more intently from now on, to watch even more carefully for signs.

This happened to me recently. I was confronted with a serious homeschooling problem I didn’t really understand the root of so it was hard to solve. After quite a bit of time, my feet suddenly took me along an unexpected path that is working beautifully although I don’t fully understand that either. Furthermore, many significant benefits are accruing from this change of direction that I could not have quite anticipated. What was this dramatic change of direction? I switched the math program we are using here at The Lionsgate School. Yup. That’s it. However, there is a lot behind this seemingly simple decision. I am still sorting through the ramifications of it all and would like to share a few thoughts from my experience and from the esteemed Charlotte Mason that I think pertain.

When it comes to guiding our children and homeschooling them, the entire person of the mother must be brought to bear on the project. Her mind, her heart, her hands, her intuition, her character, her self-discipline, her ability to research, her spiritual fervor and obedience… the list goes on and on … all play a vital role. That is one reason why mothering and homeschooling are so good for the mothers engaged in them. So when a mother’s entire person is brought to bear on an aspect of homeschooling, say, then many subtle aspects come into play laying the groundwork and creating a mode of action for even the most seemingly basic decision.

In the Preface to the Fourth Edition of Home Education - Training and Educating Children Under Nine, Charlotte Mason writes:

My attempt in the following volume is to suggest to parents and teachers a method of education resting upon a basis of natural law;

This very line is the basis of my fascination with Charlotte Mason’s insights, by the way, and gives me utter confidence in the methods and approaches she suggests. The “CM approach to education” is not based upon idiosyncrasy, fads peculiar to a specific time or place or the packaged views of someone with an ax to grind or materials to sell. This approach is based upon natural law and, as such, is timeless in its principles. Interestingly I find corroboration for many of her insights and guidelines in the most ancient and scientific literature on the workings of the mind, i.e. raja yoga. I will develop these connections in future posts. For now, let us go back to Miss Mason’s opening comments in her Preface:

and to touch, in this connection, upon a mother’s duties to her children. In venturing to speak on this latter subject, I do so with the sincerest deference to mothers, believing that, in the words of a wise teacher of men, “the woman receives from the Spirit of God Himself the intuitions into the child’s character, the capacity of appreciating its strength and its weakness, the faculty of calling forth the one and sustaining the other, in which lies the mystery of education, apart from which all its rules and measures are utterly vain and ineffectual.” But just in proportion as a mother has this peculiar insight as regards her own children, she will, I think, feel her need of a knowledge of the general principles of education, founded upon the nature and the needs of all children. And this knowledge of the science of education, not the best of mothers will get from above, seeing that we do not often receive as a gift that which we have the means of getting by our own efforts.

In other words, the most effective mother has both a disciplined mind and a loving heart. She draws upon the research of experienced educators as needed in the light of her heart’s intuition to fashion the most effective atmosphere and education for her children.

A while back another Ambleside Online homeschooling mom commented something to the effect that the fact that Charlotte Mason showed such respect for mothers made her even more trusting of her methods. No matter what wonderful method may be in question or how ironclad a general rule of thumb may be about children, in the end the mother is the “mom” and knows what is best for her children. That Charlotte Mason acknowledges this, continued this mom, makes it easier for her to acknowledge “the wisdom that God himself gave Charlotte Mason about children and about the best way to educate them.” She wondered if anyone else was affected the same way by these words of Miss Mason’s?

I replied as follows:

I also appreciate this statement by CM and would like to expand on it a little. I would draw a distinction between mothers being in a position to know what is best for their children and mothers just automatically knowing what is best because they are the mothers. CM correctly observes that mothers receive (I would say “can receive”) from the Spirit of God intuitions about the characters of their children. This is so true. But how often does it happen? The Spirit of God can only be received by a receptive heart and intuitions are best acted upon through the agency of a disciplined mind and a strong will. Perhaps some of us mothers were more or less born this way, functioned this way as girls and were raised to flourish with this approach to mothering and life. Most of us mothers were not so raised, however, and our culture and educational systems rather vociferously discourage such thoughts and behavior! I am sure you may have noticed this…

What I am trying to say is that going to church, for instance, does not make you know God. Endeavoring to know God is a function of changing yourself into a receptive, disciplined, willing, obedient, heart-based person. It is the same with being a mother. We have to be willing to make ourselves into receptors of wisdom about our children, our husbands and so on. We have to long for it. We have to catch the whispers. We have to act immediately. We have to do all these things or the ability to receive is compromised just as the will weakens every time we do not use it properly.

Knowing what is best for our children does not necessarily come automatically with the job. The privilege, the opportunity, to strive to be a mother who knows what is best for her children does automatically come with the job, however. It goes without saying that not all women choose to wring every drop of possibility out of their God-given role. It also goes without saying that as women choose or not to “become”, then in the same way goes society.

On the first pages of the same Home Education volume, Miss Mason qualifies a mother’s responsibility to her children:

It is a great thing to be a parent: there is no promotion, no dignity, to compare with it. … But then entrusted with such a charge, they are not free to say, “I may do as I will with mine own.” The children are, in truth, to be regarded less as personal property than as public trusts, put into the hands of parents that they may make the very most of them for the good of society. And this responsibility is not equally divided between the parents: it is upon the mothers of the present that the future of the world depends, in even a greater degree than upon the fathers, because it is the mothers who have the sole direction of the children’s early, most impressible years. That is why we hear so frequently of great men who have had good mothers - that is, mothers who brought up their children themselves, and did not make over the gravest duty to indifferent persons.

Mothers owe ‘a thinking love’ to their Children - “The mother is qualified,” says Pestalozzi, “and qualified by the Creator Himself, to become the principal agent in the development of her child; … and what is demanded of her is - a thinking love … God has given to thy child all the faculties of our nature, but the grand point remains undecided - how shall this heart, this head, these hands, be employed? A question the answer to which involves the futurity of happiness or misery to a life so dear to thee. Maternal love is the first agent in education.”

We are waking up to our duties, and in proportion as mothers become more highly educated and efficient, they will doubtless feel the more strongly that the education of their children … is an undertaking hardly to be entrusted to any hands but their own. And they will take it up as their profession - that is, with the diligence, regularity, and punctuality which men bestow upon their professional labors.

That the mother may know what she is about, may come thoroughly furnished to her work, she should have something more than a hearsay acquaintance with the theory of education, and with those conditions of the child’s nature upon which such theory rests. Home Education, pages 1 - 3

A thinking love, then, is a vital requirement for mothering and homeschooling. (Indeed I would go so far as to say that it is a vital requirement for every significant relationship.) A thinking love motivates a mother to research the experiences and conclusions of informed others as well as plumb the depths of her own heart in search of the inspiration and intuitions that will bring sparkling life to her children’s education as it prepares them for their future. It is her service to the future. As life’s challenges present themselves, a mother’s thoughtful love provides an array of avenues for her to seek answers, remedies, fresh alternatives, patience and perspective.

Here is my case study:

We have had many challenges to achieving “diligence, regularity and punctuality” in our homeschooling these last few years. To start with I am teaching four young stair step children while two older children attend public school against the better judgment of both them and us. This combination furnishes an astonishing array of special challenges! In addition, we have moved several times during the last few years. This has most particularly involved establishing two homesteads from the ground up which involved very steep learning curves and sometimes punishing work schedules. We are still setting up this homestead but have also now taken on starting The Pockets of the Future Project as well as Bamboo Grove Press. I think I already mentioned steep learning curves and punishing work schedules? Well, ditto here.

In the face of all of this, I seemed unable to stay steady with homeschooling day in and day out. Actually homeschooling day in and day out was often impossible. We would get started and then have to do something like move or build a barn or have a cow unexpectedly calve and have to learn how to process 8 or 9 gallons of milk a day in a hurry. Whew. My husband insisted that I should remain calm as the children were receiving an invaluable education that would serve them and others powerfully in the future. He was right, of course, but still I squirmed. How to meet all needs? How to push myself harder? How to organize better? How to go with even less sleep? Argh.

I was already committed to Ambleside Online and Right Start math. My problem was not bouncing back and forth about curricula, or losing confidence or anything like that. You can’t do any better than AO and Right Start math, right? I never wavered on these two things. It was only that we kept doing them in fits and starts which simply is not good enough.

In early winter when the homesteading projects theoretically slowed down a bit, I started taking time on Sunday afternoons to meditate on the whole homeschooling situation. What did each child need? How many children could I take on something new with at a time? What should I add? What could I save for later? I took notes on what came to me. I gathered materials and tried to implement things slowly in order to increase chances of success. There was some improvement but things still weren’t clicking along as I felt they should. I limped along, all the while keeping the situation and my prayers about it in my mind and heart. What was missing? I waited the best I could for further insight or for something to just happen.

Anyone on the AO lists knows that the Mathematics Enhancement Programme (MEP) math program gets mentioned in glowing terms periodically. I never really paid attention because we were using Right Start which is based on the Asian model and emphasizes place value, uses games and the abacus, involves very little in the way of worksheets, teaches children to do math in their heads and all sorts of other neat things. I had saved and saved money and finally had all the Right Start curricula on the shelf that I needed. This was a significant accomplishment, by the way, as Right Start is not cheap.

I had a hard time keeping up with doing Right Start because in the younger years, at least, it is entirely teacher based. There is really nothing for children to do on their own. I could see how great the program was every time I used it with them but it was hard to make the time for so many young children. It was light years beyond most other math programs and yet I just couldn’t maintain a steady schedule with it. The children were not the problem. They were always eager and willing. So what exactly was the problem? Just insufficient time?

Suddenly a couple of months ago, I found my feet not just turning down an unexpected path. My feet were running! The rest of me could hardly keep up! I had taken a 90 degree turn and was tearing pellmell down the MEP path for all I was worth. MEP is a math program implemented in British schools based on the Hungarian approach to math. It is a dynamic spiral program which digs deeply into math concepts and teaches children to approach math problems in creative, thoughtful ways. I know that now. I didn’t know it when I started running down the path, though. I received some encouragement from a couple of moms who are expert at MEP. I began printing out the lesson plan pages and workbook pages and generally acted as if I knew exactly what I was doing.

And that was that.

From the day we started MEP, we were suddenly locked into regular homeschooling at long last. Every morning now the children do their handwriting and copywork and then we all sit at the dining room table and do various levels of MEP together. Every morning! And then we do everything else from the AO schedule that is on deck too. Every day! Something was not right for us about Right Start and it was creating a logjam for the entire homeschooling program that I couldn’t break apart now matter how hard I tried. MEP came along, sent logs flying everywhere and now my children are boating up the river with grace and elegance. Oh, it does my mother’s heart good to see it.

I have puzzled over this. MEP is nearly as time intensive as Right Start is. Plus it is sort of workbook-y and I have always stayed away from anything like that because workbooks aren’t best, right? The thing is that inaudible whisper from above that echoes in your heart doesn’t come from a place that cares about what is cool or other people’s ideas about what is best. It comes from a place of higher inspiration and broader view that is specific to your own life and responsibilities. We may or may not be privileged to ever understand the reasons behind any changes of direction presented so subtly and silently but we can at least always be grateful for direct help from a higher place and continue to hone our ability to hear those messages the first time.

A couple of days ago while we all sat at the dining room table piling through MEP lessons, my 8 year old daughter turned to me and said:

Anna: I really like math. I like to do stuff.

Me: Did you like the other math too or just this MEP?

Anna: I like this one because I like to do stuff, solve problems. With the other program, you showed us things and we realized. With this program, we actually figure things out. The other program you probably would end up figuring things out and doing things too, but with this program, you start out doing things. I really like that better.

And with that she turned back to her work.

I am beginning to see now with the help of my children. I want to study this business of math programs and Charlotte Mason’s recommendations regarding math in more detail and write again. I already have another math discovery I want to share that will add to MEP beautifully, if used in small doses, but I will save all of that for later when I have more experience with it. I am getting some whole new ideas about math now which is really exciting.

I offer this long story as a case study in the interesting twists and turns relationships and projects can take when approached with “a thinking love” expressed within the role naturally assigned to us in life (in this case the roles of “mother” and “teacher”). For anyone who strives heart, mind and soul to fulfill their responsibilities in His name, help is there. We have only to place the question before Him, wait for as long as it takes for a response to come, be receptive to His answer no matter how surprising it may be, and then follow up on that response with all due diligence and good faith. Then though we may imagine the work is ours, the results will surely be His.

From the beautiful mountains of southwest Virginia,

Leslie

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